I’ve looked into the eyes of many people but I cannot deny the fact that only one person ever really captivated me by 눈빛. It started years ago. The way he looked into my eyes while talking to me struck something weird into my heart, even though he was just a young boy. I didn’t really understand what I felt and I don’t even understand it still, but when he talked to me (which wasn’t very often), he tended to stare deep into my eyes that it always set off some weird reaction in my chest. I can’t lie; his eyes were pretty. But I’ve seen lots of pretty eyes, yet only his gaze ever affected me like this. I don’t know why. I don’t know if his eyes always linger like that to everyone he talked to, but I noticed that he did with me. It’s awkward for me because I don’t know if I should break the eye contact or not.
So here’s the situation: He came in looking tired and rather frustrated like he had a burden on his back. I’ve been noticing that he was like that most of the time these days. His eyes also lost that pretty spark and brightness they once had back when we were younger. Maybe he has problems in high school like pressure, stress, and busyness… but yeah, he didn’t look like the kid who used to be so bright and eager back then. However, when I gave him a compliment (that I’m pretty sure threw him off because I never really talk to him and I was acting strangely happy that day), he awkwardly said thanks and went to sit in his usual spot. He looked a bit confused though, but I just kept on being my happy bubbly self since I’m in a really good mood. Then later he asked everyone’s opinion on something, but after quickly looking around the room, his eyes stopped at mine and it lasted longer was necessary. It was a bit awkward, but I just stared back at him. This time as I looked at him, I noticed that the spark on his bright eyes were back. He also started to smile again. Seeing him smile made me happier. Maybe it was my compliment, maybe not, but I’m glad to see him lighten up again. For a while I could feel his focus on me especially since I heard him laugh at something I said to someone else.
I’m just happy that his pretty 눈빛 came back. I think that sweet innocence and bright-eyed disposition of his is precious. I loved seeing him light up back then… he looked adorable. Seeing him gloomy makes me gloomy too, and I don’t want that. And although it’s still strange to me, I also have to admit that I do like it when he pauses as he looks at me. No one else has ever looked into my eyes like that, which is probably why it’s uncomfortable, but it makes my heart flutter, and I like it.
For goodness sakes, I don’t want to cause myself and others anymore heartaches by getting too attached to people before I leave this country. Yet his gaze was magnetic, and I’m the poor metal getting sucked in. I don’t know what his gazes meant. It could mean nothing and I could just be deceiving myself, but I’m unfortunately captivated. I just want to stare into his bright brown eyes forever and make him happy… No, I can’t start feeling this way now if I’m leaving… I can only trust that if God wants something to happen, it will happen. But if He won’t let it happen, it won’t. I know He has plans for me, and I’m not sure exactly what they will be, but I will trust.